It’s time! We are sitting at the airport and waiting for our Lufthansa flight that will take us to San Francisco.
OK, Lufthansa only brings us to Frankfurt, but if everything goes smoothly there will be waiting a plane from United Airlines and THEY will take us to San Francisco. San Fran…. Planned are two years. Let’s see how it really comes. And why ever San Fran?
We are moving!
The following conversation took place while having dinner on 27th of October 2015:
Matthias briefly and succinctly: “We are moving.”
“Aha,” I reply dryly and shove another noodle in my mouth. Where will it be at this time, I think; because since my boyfriend completed his doctoral studies at the TU-Wien and is looking for a job, he grins widely while telling me all sorts of adventurous ideas. Only my raised eyebrows could prevent us by sitting in Tokyo, Munich and / or Zurich.
“But this time it is serious” he says and I am stopping chewing.
“I listen,” I mumble through my noodle.
“Well, Stanford University is looking for a post-doc and my boss was asked if she could recommend someone. And, well – she wants to recommend me. But she wants to make sure that I will apply seriously and will go there if they’ll take me… what do you think? “
Uff. I decide to swallow the whole noodle without chewing. I feel that Matthias is serious about that this time. Not like at all the other times that he had suggested yet. So I ask with some heart palpitations: “Where exactly is Stanford…?” I hoped there would be another Stanford, one in England or anywhere else in Europe. But no. The devastating answer: USA. West Coast. California. Near San Francisco.
HELP NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO !!!
Deep in me everything screams NO NO NO and AGAIN: NO. Instead, I ask gently and sensitively: “Do YOU want that?”
Astonished, he looks at me. “Yes sure! This is a big opportunity for me! And it would be only for a year. Of course only if you are in…. “
“Ok, I think about it,” I promise.
“Thank you. But could you give me your answer by tomorrow…? Because my boss is waiting.” he asks me carefully.
“Okay, by tomorrow then!” I say while turning on my turbo brain.
Turbo Brain: Think!
Jab jab jab. What are the pros and cons?
Pro:
I’ve always wanted to go abroad (but not America ….)
Cons:
everything else:
- I have to quit my job
- We must give up our chic apartment
- I will not be allowed to work in my field, I am a vet, as my exam is not valid in the USA. Only by learning for one to two years and paying € 10,000.- examination fee I could do the exam…
- The cats?! What do we do with our cats ?!
- All my friends will be left behind …
- … I moved several times and had to find new friends. No I have to restart again.
- We are not married – so I will not have a visa
- What if I give up everything here, and then will break up: I’ll have no money, no job, no apartment …
- Oh my god, what if we’ll be separated?! No money, no job, no apartment!
- NO MONEY! NO JOB! NO FLAT!
I need to sleep on the matter. So I sleep.
Next morning. I wake up. My first thought: No money, no job, no apartment! No money, no job, no apartment! No money, no job, no apartment!
STOP! That won’t help me! So I ask my turbo brain to go back to a normal thinking speed. And then I ask my heart for some help to find a decision.
The mind is good for thinking. This is important to add up 2 + 2.
The heart feels. Never come to a decision without consulting your heart.
My heart tells me: “What if you do not separate? What if everything is totally great? As a vet in Vienna your wage won’t pay the rent – you may find something even more enjoyable and a better income? What if your decision was not wrong, but just right? “
Excellent question! I have made many decisions out of fear. And I don’t want to be guided by (my) fear any longer. But trust in me, in my life and my future! Again. What are the cons and pros, without beeing afraid?
What remains is:
Cons:
what we do with the cats?
Pros:
I’ve always wanted to live abroad!
Ok, for the cats we’ll find a solution! That means: the only thing that is left is: I’ve always wanted to live abroad! And my decision is made: “We’re Moving!”
On the way to work I read the following ad:
“Today, 45 years ago the first mail in the world has been sent to Stanford”
I write Matthias a text message: Just saw an advertisement: “Today 45 years ago the first mail in the world has been sent to Stanford” 🙂 and 45 years later, today, you will be sent. And whereever you are I want to be too. My answer to Stanford is YES!
07/15/2016
Vienna, Austria, Departure 1:10 pm – Arrival 2:35 pm Frankfurt, GermanyFrankfurt, Germany, Depature 5:25 pm – Arrival 4:40 am San Franciso, USA (or local time 7:40 pm)
Journey time: 15.50 hours
Kiki and Matthias, waiting at the Vienna airport for departure:
Good bye Vienna.
Goodbye Vienna
Eure Kiki